AHW        My criminal past                        written on 3 August 2007

I have one criminal conviction on my record. I don't know whether the authorities have lost the paperwork but knowing how Whitehall et cetera can mislay records, I would not be at all surprised.  I was married on 31st March 1951 (the day before All Fools Day).  At that time I was commuting from Hampton to the West End of London.  As a self-employed electrician I had an old banger that I used as transport.  On the first anniversary of my wedding I was travelling along the A316 in St Margaret's when I was pulled over by a police car who wanted to examine my vehicle.  Actually the car didn't belong to me but to the chap I did most of my work for.  It was a 1931 Morris 8.  But in 1952 there were a lot of old vehicles doing splendid service for the likes of me.

The police car was manned by two very young coppers and they almost took my car apart.  They found more wrong with that banger than I ever imagined.  Even to telling me that the spokes of the wheels were not tight as shown by the rust on the spoke nipples.  They proved that the engine mounts were not secure, but they were satisfied that the steering did not have too much play in it,  They found that the handbrake was not holding as it should and that the horn failed to work.  I knew that, but I very seldom needed to use it.

The coppers took all my details and informed me that I would be reported.  I showed them my insurance certificate and my driving license.  When I got home that evening my wife told me that the coppers had called at the house about my insurance certificate.  I had obviously shown them the one that covered my motor-cycle and the copper didn't spot the error till afterwards.  At all time those two young coppers were the acme of politeness and courtesy.  They called at the house again later when I was in and I showed them the car insurance.

A week went by and I got a summons to Richmond Magistrate's Court.  I turned up in good time for the hearing and listened to the end of one case and the whole of the next.  The first chap tried to plead "technically guilty" and was repeated told that no such plea existed.  Finally the chairman said "I am going to enter your pleas as 'not guilty' ".  The case before mine was against a driver caught doing fifty miles per hour in the Kew Road.  That road had a quite sensible thirty mph speed limit on it.  He didn't attend the Court and wrote a letter.  He got fined fifty quid.  Remember this was 1952 when money was worth a lot more than it is now.  Then, it would have been a month's wages for me.  My case was next and I opted to stay out of the Witness Box but was allowed to question the copper who attended.

There were two charges:
"Being in charge of a vehicle likely to be  a danger to any person on the road", and
"Being in charge of a vehicle with a defective handbrake."
I pleaded not guilty to the first charge but guilty to the second.  The defective horn was not covered as I got an official letter warning me that I have broken the law but would not proceeded against.

There were three beaks on the bench and the chairman conferred with the other two every time before he spoke.  I asked the copper if he had found my footbrake satisfactory.  He replied that he had.  I asked him if he found the steering satisfactory and replied in a similar vein.

Mumble, mumble, mumble.  "Mr Campbell, we find you guilty on both charges.  Are you married".
" Yes sir".
"Do you have any children?"
"Yes Sir, a baby of six months"."

Mumble, mumble, mumble.  We fine you one pound for each offence."

I left the Court very much more relieved than when I had entered it.

I simply cannot complain about the coppers or the Court.  I had a very fair hearing.

Except for one parking ticket that I complained about and got dropped, that is my total criminal record.  The parking ticket was issued by a blind traffic warden who couldn't see my blue badge sitting behind the windscreen.  That was in the 'Sainsbury's Car Park' in Hampton when I parked in a disabled bay.