AFM        More nutty-Nottingham stories                                Updated 19/09/2007

It is a near-consensus that the Council have an employee that they took on in error.  They can't dismiss this person because that would show up the head of that department.  So this employee is used to amuse, confuse, and annoy the Council Taxpayers.  And part of the duties of this person is to design and write notices that go on the various places that require notices by the Council.  Two recently observed ones are:

1            In the yard of the Dunkirk Community Centre there are a set of recycling skips.  Two of the skips are for waste glass (cullet).  There is a clear notice on both skips that says "MIXED GLASS ONLY".  Now to me, this can only be adhered to by putting at least two bottles or jars in the skip.  To put in a single bottle would be contravening the instruction.  Although there is a slight possibility that someone may wish to dispose of  an ornamental vase that consists of more than just one type of glass, I feel that this is highly unlikely.

2        In the yard of St Mary's Church Wollaton, there are several Council Wheelie Bins.  Recently the two previous types of bin have been supplemented by a third type that is intended for recycled material..  However, this particular bin is the only one that I have seen with this white notice stuck on its side.  The purpose of the notice is very sensible as the things that can be recycled via the Council are not at all clear.  They used to ban envelopes because of a possible plastic windows, but they now accept envelopes without any qualification  Tissue and loo rolls are banned; and I do not know the reason for that.  But the strangest of all is that "pots" may be put in the bin.. I know of flower-pots and chimney-pots, but these seem unlikely items able to be recycled.  Also, the word 'pot' in Nottingham is a slang term for a plaster-cast. And we mustn't forget cannabis resin is sometimes known as 'pot'.  So rather than clarifying the situation, the pot -- sorry --the 'plot' thickens

3        This is a suitable place to comment on a council letter I received a while ago.  Over a year ago I wrote a letter to someone -- I can't remember who --  and put my address as "Wollaton Park Pothole Estate".  It's a most appropriate name for the set of roads round here.  It is local opinion that Nottingham have erected one speed-hump for every pothole to try to say that the average road-height is maintained.  Anyway that letter was on my PC and I used it as a template for a letter to the Council to complain about another matter.  The trouble was that I forgot to modify my address when using the "Microsoft WORD "SAVE AS" command.  Honest Guv, I really didn't know what I had done until I received a reply-letter on Nottingham City Council letterheading.  My guess is that the Council Officer dictated a reply to a typist and told the girl to send the letter to the address on my letter.  But the girl did just as she was told and copied my address exactly.   Poor girl!

 But the temptation was more than I could resist.  I simply had to let the Nottingham Evening Post know.  They sent a photographer and took a picture of the letter.  So as to save the Council Officer embarrassment, I insisted on covering her name.  In due course, a small article appeared in the local rag.  They also reported that they had telephoned the Council and were told that it must be a typing error.  I have posted a full-colour copy of that letter on my personal space on my front fence.  So now we can say that the Council formally accept that the Wollaton Park Estate is now known as the 'Pothole Estate'.

But I must be fair to the Council, they are much more cooperative to our Residents' Association than ever Richmond on Thames was when I lived there.  They even will do photocopying for the Association at no charge.  And they give us a small grant every year to help with our running costs.