AEB        Nutty Notices

If any reader has any suggestion for additions to this site, I will be pleased to hear from you on  CDCNottm@AOL.com
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01        New Scientist Feedback page 76 of issue 2530 reports on a notice in Edinburgh city centre.  The St James's Centre car park warns that:

Two cars must leave before one can enter

New Scientist has suggested that there may be a tear in the spacetime continuum in that part of Edinburgh.. An alternative explanation is that when the car park is empty. it shall stay empty for all time.
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02        In the Dunkirk (Nottingham) Community Centre car park there are several recycling skips for waste glass (cullet).  Each skip is clearly labelled "Mixed glass only".  If this instruction is to be followed the only time one may put a single bottle into the skip is if it is one that is made of mixed glass.  There is no guide to what that mixture may consist of.
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03        In Percy Road Hampton to the north of the railway line, there was (maybe still is) a sign saying: "Turn off engine when stationary".  It is true that it doesn't forbid a driver from re-starting his car engine.  But what it does mean is that if you were careless enough to stall your car on the level-crossing, you are instructed to turn off the engine.
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04        When the un-manned level crossings came into being there was one Surrey town that put up a notice just before the crossing saying "Do not cross while red light shows".  It is fairly well-known that to a Yorkshireman 'while' is a synonym of 'until'.  The local press got hold of the story and the sign was rapidly changed
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05        I saw recently a sign in a Nottingham Community Ambulance that is fitted with a tail-lift to hold wheelchairs: "All wheelchairs must be clamped".  This was not an instruction to one of the zealous car-park attendants that Nottingham is so famed for, it was an instruction to the driver to use the supplied devices that secure a wheelchair when the bus is moving.  Another notice in the same bus said "Seatbelts must be worn at all times".  I felt tempted to add a bit to the notice "even in bed"
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