ADX Washington Post definitions
Once again, The Washington Post has published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. And the winners are:
01 Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Coffer (n) , a person who does the coughing
02 Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
03 Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
04 Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
05 Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
06
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
07 Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
08 Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
09
Flatulence (n.) The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
are run
over by a steamroller.
10 Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11 Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam.
12
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a
proctologist
immediately before he examines you.
13
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.
14 Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15 Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you
die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck
there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts